The Church's Single Challenge

The church as a whole has a wonderful opportunity for growth and change. Traditionally, the church has been largely comprised of nuclear families. Today, families no longer represent the gross majority. A few fun facts about today’s population in America:

• There are 112 million unmarried Americans, representing over 47% of the adult population (ACS, 2012).
• Since 2005, the majority of US households have not been headed by married couples. The number of non-married-couple households continues to grow (ACS 2005-2007).
• There are more than 51 million households headed by unmarried Americans, representing roughly 44% of all households and the majority of households in 23 states, plus the District of Columbia (CPS, 2007).
• There are more than 31 million one-person households in the U.S., representing roughly 27% of all households (CPS, 2007).
• 68% of Americans who have been previously married, but are no longer married, plan to remain unmarried (Gallup, 2006). ^[1]

It’s hard to entirely fault the church. There is no more diverse a group than today’s singles. Contemporary singles are made up of:

• Young, never been married, hoping to be
• Older, never been married, hoping to be
• Older, never been married, given up on marriage
• Divorced with no kids
• Single moms (dad in the picture, dad not in the picture; dad saved, dad not saved)
• Single dads (mom in the picture, mom not in the picture; mom saved, mom not saved)
• Widow
• Widower
• Gay

Every one of these singles has their own challenges and needs unique to their station. With the current economy, tithing and giving is down; clergy is stretched thin and the family is under attack. Church resources are constantly on the brink of exhaustion. That itself is enough to max out any church. One simply cannot ignore the additional burden of fashioning a ministry for such a diverse group. 

I sympathize with the church. Truly, I do. Two years ago, God laid this ministry passionately on my heart. Being single myself, the lack of resources for singles and need for a viable singles’ ministry was obvious. Being a single mom helped me realize how vastly needs of singles differ. So many needs, so few resources… I knew we needed a ministry but even I was at a complete loss as to how to minister to singles-and I is one of them!!!

Paul tells us in I Corinthians 7 that those of us who are not married should desire to stay as we are because, with marriage, comes much anxiety. Obviously, not all in marriage is bad. However, those of us who are unmarried are unfettered by the concerns of marriage, making our lives simpler. So why does ‘unfetteredness’ so often translate into loneliness? Why are we feeling isolated, even ostracized, rather than enjoying intimacy with the Lord? Are we not free of being “… ³³ anxious about worldly things, how to please [a spouse], ³⁴ and [their] interests [which] are divided…”? ^[2]

I submit it’s because we don’t realize what an opportunity we have when our love affair is with Jesus Christ and not a man or woman. After 30 years in the church, I’ve never once heard from the pulpit or in a study, about the incredibly special place we singles have in the Kingdom once we embrace our singleness as a Holy vocation rather than a sad, human condition.

Join me for an intimate journey as we explore our vocation as a single Kingdom community. It is my heartfelt prayer that we will walk and grow together in Christ as we begin to realize that we are especially positioned to do great things for our Lord unfettered and empowered.

Let’s walk together, In Christ Alone.

^[1] http://www.unmarried.org/press-room/briefing-kit/

^[2] I Corinthians 7:33-34